Npcs using spells or item on their own (Out of combat) + autonomous npcs

I Would really love for immersion and balance purpose, (I am a kind of immersion and realistic player rather than a “main character” vibe player) that npcs can use their own spells on their own, in the narration when there's a problem to be fixed, without the player's intervention, or the player asking the npc to do a specific spell etc, I would love npcs having all the same right and can do literally actions on their own, like they can really think in the story.

I also take advantage of that to suggest npcs, especially in dialogues to be more autonomous and not constantly waiting/asking for the player's opinion. In a mission, on a party, npcs tends to always take the player as the natural leader, waiting for his final decision, especially in dialogues, npcs tends to often finish their dialogues by a question to the player’s opinion about something, I actually want the reverse I think its more realistic to receive orders, to be carried by npcs, to follow the group leader, all of that without limiting the player’s creativity or word to say, depending on the context, the player has to follow or listen to other’s npcs thoughts and vice versa.

For example, the game follow that hierarchy if a npc is clearly hierarchically superior to the player. But if the player is EQUALLY friend with another npc, this npc tends to view the player as the natural leader in a party, where it should be 50/50 of leadership or thoughts between the party.

Basically , I want npcs to make their own decisions, spells, use of items, suggestions, thoughts in the narrative aspect.